Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i dont even know how to be here
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
