you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
