His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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