is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
