just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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