so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
