I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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