In the future we'll all be gay
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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