if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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