first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
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Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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