I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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