I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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