is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
