no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
