I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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