PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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