Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize