so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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