Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I need a beard to bite.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
