i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
