thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
