Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize