Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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