Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.

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  (704): I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing. http://tfl.nu/dymp
  Replies (56) Good night (8095) Bad night (1471)
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  (914): View more from New York

  My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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  (914): My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control. http://tfl.nu/45m8
  Replies (47) Good night (1451) Bad night (4039)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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  (406): As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network. http://tfl.nu/cww0
  Replies (19) Good night (5541) Bad night (1080)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?

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  (919): so are you any less fat since you started doing blow? http://tfl.nu/jikm
  Replies (40) Good night (1821) Bad night (5890)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did

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  (732): 90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did http://tfl.nu/76ya
  Replies (9) Good night (2700) Bad night (1229)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!

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  (928): I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas! http://tfl.nu/f207
  Replies (9) Good night (3560) Bad night (1011)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.

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  (403): I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life. http://tfl.nu/3fnb
  Replies (2) Good night (1789) Bad night (863)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing

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  (845): You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing http://tfl.nu/q419
  Replies (3) Good night (1106) Bad night (720)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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  (334): My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/t8sy
  Replies (13) Good night (2592) Bad night (562)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.

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  (801): At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good. http://tfl.nu/03g0
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (673)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.

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  (814): Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn. http://tfl.nu/bgu3
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (328)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow

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  (304): Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow http://tfl.nu/n1c6
  Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (1173)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid

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  (802): I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid http://tfl.nu/rspn
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (216)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"

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  (812): I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!" http://tfl.nu/pzfy
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (190)
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  (626): View more from California

  Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes

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  (626): Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes http://tfl.nu/8kr5
  Replies (9) Good night (283) Bad night (451)

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