Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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  (248): i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine http://tfl.nu/gbjn
  Replies (4) Good night (1515) Bad night (638)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  That's intense

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  (912) That's intense http://tfl.nu/r7sa
  Replies (18) Good night (1069) Bad night (952)
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  (415): View more from California

  i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian

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  (415): i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian http://tfl.nu/vq1a
  Replies (8) Good night (2046) Bad night (993)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (3241) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (762): View more from Georgia

  Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...

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  (762): Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once... http://tfl.nu/ks2u
  Replies (53) Good night (4815) Bad night (875)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.

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  (813): Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear. http://tfl.nu/hyjr
  Replies (20) Good night (837) Bad night (6575)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.

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  (910): I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about. http://tfl.nu/tvk3
  Replies (4) Good night (4095) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.

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  (507): He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in. http://tfl.nu/mt4b
  Replies (15) Good night (3695) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.

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  (651): i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/14sr
  Replies (5) Good night (3008) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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  (312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv
  Replies (3) Good night (1924) Bad night (750)
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  (415): View more from California

  If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league

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  (415): If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league http://tfl.nu/jv3f
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.

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  (978): But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano. http://tfl.nu/s054
  Replies (9) Good night (747) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

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  (305): When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand. http://tfl.nu/rlmw
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.

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  (408): I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced. http://tfl.nu/i2rx
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose

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  (+61): Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose http://tfl.nu/qf33
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (376)

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