you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.