I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??