Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
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I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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