Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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