All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
