Dual....:-)
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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