3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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