so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
