You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
