Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
