I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think my mom watched the whole time
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
this hospital has no fireball
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
