My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
