I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
