I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I want to have your abortion
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
