Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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