Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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