i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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