The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
