I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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