He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize