Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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