How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
