Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
