We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
