I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
