I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
