I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
