Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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