You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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