I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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