just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
