that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
