May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
