I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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