Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
im calling her cock vulture from now on
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
