I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
