I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
