a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
