she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
